masking

was there ever a time when you thought that you knew everything or was capable of doing anything because you were so sure that you can never feel the pain, be hurt, or feel unwanted? well, that's what i used to believe myself to be... but when you grow up and you learn to actually feel or actually act upon life, you find it not as easy as it seems... first you learn that even though you love, it isn't certain that love embraces you back... then you find yourself fighting with everything you've got but it just isn't enough because the light you emanate and the painting that you are is just not what their looking for... then failure starts to daunt you... its inevitable that you encounter it once in a while... its a curse, maybe, that we all just have to live with... then there's shame... why do we have to deal with it? aren't we supposed to live our life as we choose to live them? aren't we the makers of our own courses in life? then why was shame invented? was it because we should be awaken from the fact that life is really not perfect? i believe it could have been if not for those arrogant fools who think they have everything in the world... but it's obvious that they still get jealous of seeing other people happy so they trample on the little ones and they feel satisfied because they feel that they have gained... and so now everyone is ashamed... everyone wants to hide... everyone wants to be or even just seem happy in life just because they are ashamed...

now people wear masks. it feels so close to living... it is how people, somehow, feel secure...

while i'd like to curse whoever created shame, i'd like to say thanks to the one who created the analogy of the mask to pretention... its been a very helpful alternative to living.

at least to me it has...